When we Two Parted
by IKnowATard
Summary: Severus has secrets, and his lover needs answers. Warning, angst, slash, don’t read if you don’t like to bash Sev, and constructive criticism is always appreciated. since it's hard for people to understand different POVs, you can read it at where the fon


**DISCLAIMER:** Nothing beloogs to me, Rowling created everything. The poem belongs to Lord Byron.

**When We Two Parted**

"Sev?"

"Mmmhmmmm?"

"What happened between you and Lily?"

"…………"

"Sev!"

"You know I don't like to talk about it, love."

"Tell me, Sev."

"………."

"Please?"

"I love you. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do. I love you too."

"All right then."

_When we two parted  
In silence and tears,  
Half broken-hearted  
To sever the years,_

Severus Snape was waiting for her. She had asked him to meet her about something important. He fumbled with the ring in his pocket, and grinned. This was it. After tonight, he wouldn't have to share her with Potter. She'd belong to him. His little flower.

"Little flower?"

"My nickname for her."

"Why don't I have a nickname?"

"You do. You have three to be exact."

"I do?"

"Yes. Pet, kitten, and little one."

"Those are nicknames? I thought those were just names you called me during sex. "

"May I continue?"

"Yeah. Wait! You and my dad were both seeing her?"

"Yes."

"And you both…?"

"Yes!"

"That's crazy!"

"You'll find that people do crazy things when they're in love, little one. Now hush up if you want to hear the story.

_Pale grew thy cheek and cold,  
Colder, thy kiss;  
Truly that hour foretold  
Sorrow to this._

She looked unusually pale tonight, as if something bad had happened. He didn't se her come, so it surprised him when she spoke.

"Severus, we need to talk."

He should have known then. She never called him by his full name unless it was about something serious. Perhaps he didn't want to think that something was wrong. He whirled around, grinning.

"Lily" he said with pleasure. "I want to talk to you about something important too." She started to speak but he covered her mouth with a hand. "Hush darling. Let me do this before I lose my nerve."

"May I ask what you find so amusing?"

"Darling?"

"What, like "my greasy bastard" isn't strange?"

"Oh all right, continue"

"Severus, please listen to me…"

"I will after I'm finished," he promised. He took a deep breath. "Lily, I've known you for a long time, and I also know that I love you. I love your hair, your lips, and your laugh. I love how you eat, and how you sleep. I love those captivating eyes of yours. I will always love you, and I want to spend my life with you." He bent on knee and taking out the ring, held it out to her. "Lily, will you marry me?"

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen."

"And you were gonna get married?"

"I loved her."

"……….."

"I know what you're thinking. You're not getting any ring till you're twenty."

"Why twenty?"

"Because you're more immature than Lily."

"Ow!"

"Am I still immature?"

"Yes. Kicking someone in the balls is a good way of showing how mature you are."

"On with the story!"

Lily stared at him, tears in her eyes."Sev, I…" she said. She took a deep breath. "Sev, Jamie proposed to me last night. And I…I accepted"

He fell back on his butt. It would have been funny if he hadn't been dying inside. The ring fell from his hand.

"Sev, I'm sorry…"

"Get away from me!"

"Sev…"

He looked up at her, and for the first time in his life, Severus Snape cried. She knelt beside him, telling him she was sorry, but he didn't hear her. It was only when she pressed her lips against his cheek, those warm lips that would give him life, but so cold now…it was then that he pushed her away, and out of his life forever. "Leave me be, you whore!" he snapped.

She drew back, as if she had been slapped. A defeated expression was on her lover's face. With a sudden shock, she realized she had broken him. She looked at him again, one last lingering look, and then she walked away.

That night was the death of Severus Snape, Lily Evan's lover. And it was the birth of Severus Snape, the Death-Eater.

"Very nice."

"Thank you. I try."

laughs "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"Of course I am, you wouldn't love me if I wasn't."

Lily's betrayal loosed something within him. She had been the lioght inside him, keeping the darkness within him at bay. But when she left, it took over, consumed his soul. The proud, beautiful Slytherin sold his soul to the devil. He joined Voldemort. To prove his loyalty and went on a rampage and annihilated an entire village. Men, women, children… He picked up infants and crashed their head against the wall, killing them in front of their mothers. He forced young boys to kill and rape their own sisters and mothers. He made the men kill their tiny children slowly in front of their mothers. Within twenty four hours, he stood in front of an empty village, covered in blood from head to toe. And Voldemort embraced him and called him his son.

Severus Snape had become pure evil. He loved to keep his victims alive with potions and spells, then carve out their hearts and hold it before them, then take off the spells keeping them alive. He relished in cutting them in different parts of their body, watching them blood. Nothing made him happier then to cut them, and then pour melted candle wax into their wounds to make them scar**1. **The sound of their tortured screams was pure music for them. He'd sit there, humming happily, watching the blood drip.

"Are you all right pet?"

"You can't have done all that. You can't."

"I did. And if something happened to you, I'd do it again."

He swore he would get his revenge. The woman for whom he would willingly have died…He'd make her pay. Her and her husband. Yes, and that son of theirs too. He decided to see the brat. He didn't know why, but he wanted too. So he went to their home in Godric's Hollow.

The child was in his nursery. Stupid, really, leaving a one year old all alone. He was sleeping, hugging a little teddy-bear, looking innocent, almost…cute. Severus touched his cheek, and the child woke up. He looked up at him and smiled, then giggled, waving his arms in the air, telling him to take him in his arms. Sev gently lifted him, and noticed his Li-Evan's-Mrs. Potter's eyes for the first time. And he realized his mistake. He was conspiring to kill this beautiful little baby. He was overwhelmed with a wave of remorse, and he gently set the baby down, who began to cry.

"There, there, Harry, it's okay little one", he said softly, finally remembering his name. "Look, this is for you." he said, cutting off a strand of his hair with his dagger1**2 **He muttered a small spell, and the hair wove around till it formed a snake, and he added a small emerald**3** for its eyes. Another muttered charm, and the snake was enclosed into a crystal orb. He started to give it to the babe, who was watching him curiously, and then, whispered a final charm, and the orb was hung on a silver chain, charmed so as to not break if it fell. He handed it to the baby, who cooed in delight at his toy. He looked up at him questioningly. "Mine?" he asked.

Severus had to laugh. "Yes" he said stooping to kiss him. "It's yours forever." He turned and started to leave. "Good bye Harry", he said stopping for a minute. He had to meet Albus Dumbledore.

_The dew of the morning  
Sunk, chill on my brow,  
It felt like the warning  
Of what I feel now._

Severus Snape woke up to a cold October morning. He went through his daily ablutions, and then decided to go for a short walk on the grounds. He stood outside in the sunshine, thinking. It had been five months since he had seen Harry…since his life had changed. He now worked as a Potions teacher at Hogwarts. He smiled wryly._ Who would've thought I'd become a lowly teacher_ he thought. A cold wind blew, and he shivered. It had been Halloween yesterday; the brats had been even more hyper than they were normally, and he had been up half the night, rounding up the drunk ones. He sighed.

"Severus?"

He spun around in surprise. "Headmaster!" he exclaimed. "You're up early!"

Albus looked at him soberly. "Severus, last night…it was Sirius. He was the…I didn't know. He attacked them last night, and...Only Harry survived. I'm sorry Severus."

He looked at him in mute shock. "What are you saying?"

Albus put a hand on his arm. "Severus," he said softly "Lily's dead".

He fell on his knees. "No" he whispered, as tears trickled down his cheeks.

"Severus…"

"LILYYYYYYYYYY!"

No one present in the castle would ever forget the wails of anguish that followed.

You really loved her, huh?"

"Not as much as I love you."

_  
Thy vows are all broken,  
And light is thy fame; _

She promised him she'd always be his. That she'd never leave him. That she'd love him forever. She broke all her promises. And nothing was left but the pain, the intense pain that numbed his heart, his very soul that he forgot how to live, how to feel, and looked at everyone with scorn, fools that they were, so caught up in their imagination.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"When you talk like that…it hurts me to hear your pain."

"My Voron."

"Huh?"

"German for raven."

Oh.I didn't know you were German"

My mother was. She was killed by my father because he wanted to marry someone else."

"And I thought my childhood was fucked up"

"It was. That's why we're both so much alike."

_I hear thy name spoken,  
And share in its shame._

Sometimes, people would speak of her. And something would kindle inside of him, a feeling he once recognized…There were the gossip mongers, who claimed she had been seeing a Slytherin when she was with Potter, that he had impregnated her. And he hurt; he felt the hurt she'd have felt had she been alive, and the shame. Always the shame. The shame of failure, of failing to save her.

_  
They name thee before me,  
A knell to mine ear;  
A shudder comes o'er me...  
Why wert thou so dear?_

It was a long time before he learnt to keep the tears back every time he heard her name. A long time ago, that name reminded him of happier times, a time when he could feel…it reminded him of flowers, like her name, and how she'd dance in the rain and get a terrible cold afterwards…Now it just reminded him of how the bells had tolled at her funeral.

He couldn't understand it. Why was she so special? She was beautiful, yes, but Narcissa was beautiful. He never understood why, when Professor McGonagall spoke of her, he'd start to shudder, why he'd remember how she looked that night…He never understood it.

_  
They know not I knew thee,  
Who knew thee too well.  
Long, long shall I rue thee,  
Too deeply to tell._

They spoke of her as they knew her, knew who she was. Fools. They knew nothing. He knew, knew why she was scared of the thunder and why she hated the black MnM's but loved the others…but they never knew. They never knew that he had known her. He wouldn't malign her memory.

He knew he'd never be free of the pain, as long as he lived.

In secret we met  
In silence I grieve  
That thy heart could forget,  
Thy spirit deceive

He knew that her reputation was safe. Only Potter had known, and he had told no one, except perhaps Lupin. No one had ever caught them when they met in secret. No one saw them out on their dates.

He had no one, now that she was gone. He was left to carry the pain with him, at all times.

He had thought she had forgotten him, forgotten their love. He was so wrong. She had merely passed it on to another, He found out six years later, when… When **_he_** came to him.

**flasback**

Severus Snape was, as was his wont, reading a book before he turned in for the night, when a knock came at the door. Irritated, he went to open the door. It was Potter. Strangely enough, he had been quite, passive since he came back for his sixth year. His grades had been slipping; He had even quit the Quidditch team. Now, he looked so frightened that Severus felt sorry for him. Nevertheless, he couldn't suddenly show compassion towards one of his students. Snarling, he said," Potter, there had better be a good reason for you disturbing me in the middle of the night."

He looked at him, and Severus was pleased to note that the old Gryffindor fire was back in his voice and eyes. He looked at him squarely. "Professor. You're a Death Eater. This means that you'd know loads of Dark spells. I want you to bring my godfather back."

Severus laughed at the audacity of the child. "Oh really?" he said sneering. "And what do I get out of it?"

Potter took a deep breath. "I'll-I'll let you-have me. I'm still a virgin-if that turns you on."

Severus stood there gaping. "You love Black that much?"

"More than my own life."

**flasback**

Something had stirred inside Severus then. He had remembered…green eyes like that brat's in front of him. He had remembered feeling love once, and pain, and... He had invited him in, in his rooms. He never knew he was inviting him into his heart.

"Ever considered writing a book?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You should. You're really good."

Slowly, Severus let him into his heart, or rather, the stubborn brat forced his way there, no matter how much Severus fought, no matter how much he pushed him way, or hurt him, he always came back. And when he bound himself to Severus, he knew that he had found love again. and slowly, they came to love each other. And Severus realized something. Lily had left her son to fulfill all her vows.

"Lily Evans was my past. I still love her. But I've dwelt in the past long enough now. You are my present. And my future."

Harry looked up at his lover. "There's still one verse of the poem left," he said quietly.

Severus took his hand." We'll finish it together," he said, pulling him closer to hold him.

_If I should meet thee  
After long years,  
How should I greet thee?  
With silence and tears.  
_

Eight years later, he was about to ask him to marry him. Sirius was back, thanks to a spell used to bring a lost soul mate back. Who'd have thought that Remus was his soul mate? Both lived with them in Snape's manor. It had been his idea; he wanted Harry to be close to them. He even found a way to cure Lupin, who was now a fully fledged human. Even Sirius was happy. Strangely enough, he had found the family he never had in those two. Sirius had adopted his godson, and was now referred to as dad. Remus was Papa.

And eight years later, they went to visit her grave, just the two of them. His ex-lover's, his mother's. They stood there quietly. Harry bowed his head and let the tears flow. "I did it mom," he said, his voice choked. "I avenged your death. Voldemort's dead. I hope that your soul can now rest in peace."

"Harry, look!" Severus whispered. Harry lifted his head, and saw…his mother.

"Mommy?" he whispered. She smiled and came closer. A wispy hand tried to caress his cheek. "I love you mom," he whispered. She smiled and nodded. Her gaze fell to Severus, and tears filled her eyes. "Severus", she whispered, and he closed his eyes. He opened them and looked at her in silence. Tears filled his eyes. He strode forward to his lover, and took his hand. "Lily," he said. "I want you to give us your blessing. I mean to marry your son, and know one's gonna stop me."

She smiled and held a hand over their heads. "Blessed be," she whispered, smiling.

"Mum," said Harry, a catch in his voice. "You and dad are my parents, but Daddy and Papa…"

She held up a hand to silence him. Looking at all of them, she smiled. Then she slowly faded away.

Harry slipped his hand into his lovers. "Let's go home," he whispered. Both turned and walked away. And with every step they took from that grave, they let go of the past, and finally started to live in the present, and look towards the future. A future filled with love and happiness, and totally devoid of bitter memories and pain and hurt. It was the end, and the beginning.

**Fin.**

1 Sorry, I'm not very good at torture, I did my best, but it feels weird, like when you watch a movie and there's lots of torture scenes in it, and you feel bad watching it.

2 He's a Death Eater. You think he just walks around with a wand? Puh-lease.

3 Yet another charm, it felt weird to constantly write "He cast a charm".


End file.
